Craig Johnson is missing something and he wants it back -- Silence.
"I used to think white people roll out of bed and start chit-chatting and they're happy, but now I realize it's not all that it's cracked up to be."
Craig can't walk down the street of his upper class Connecticut neighborhood without people greeting him with "How 'bout that Obama!"
"It's worse than when people ask me for NBA scores," explained Johnson, "I mean, it's not even like their asking me a question anymore, apparently it [How 'bout that Obama!] has become a greeting interchangeable with hello when I'm around. Sociologically, it's fascinating how these people seem to pat themselves on the back when engaging other people, but having to live it is a pain in the ass."
"I want it to go back to the way it was, obviously not that far back, maybe mid nineties. I don't want to know everyone's life story, I don't want to make an event out of seeing someone I see three times a week. It takes me 4 times longer to get through the supermarket these days. But you know, they say you can't stop progress, I might just have to find a place to move to where people still treat me with the same mix of disinterest and quiet envy... you know what I mean."
And we did know what he meant. We absolutely did. We're all a little envious of Mr. Johnson.