Saturday, October 11, 2008

Tracy McGrady promises exciting, new ways to lose in the first round.

Tracy McGrady does his best to go home early every year. He's 7 for 7 taking a dive in the first round, but this year the deck is stacked against him. With the additions of Barry and Artest and an improving Scola, the Rockets seem poised to make serious run -- even to the finals.

"We'll need to coordinate our injuries," said McGrady, "The first step to losing in the playoffs is losing in the regular season. With a bad seed its like half the work is done for you. We're gonna need help from our fans: chairs, batteries, drinks, whatever you have, just whip it at Ron's face."

Ron Artest is well-known from the infamous brawl at The Palace of Auburn Hills and the lengthy suspension attributed to it. An arrest on domestic violence charges, dots the I's in "first round exit".

"I have a streak to think about," worried McGrady, "0 for 1 with Toronto, 0 for 3 with Orlando and Houston. I wouldn't rule out anything when it comes to playoff time, drugs, liquor, hookers, rock climbing accidents, Bill Ayers, long lost twins, gigantism, and if neccesary: a plane crash... oh and I guarantee you this, someone's gonna get pregnant."